It was half past two in the noon and the olive plant in the yard that usually surrenders to the scorching sun and bends its branches and reaches halfway to the ground stays upright today. People began leaving one by one after offering condolences. Soon enough she was left alone under the sagging roof with her two daughters. The house fell back into an eerie silence except for the slight drizzle of the rain and the occasional thunder. Even the close ones couldn’t afford to stay back to console since everyone was equally mourning. Bereavement and funerals have become part of the routine in the neighbourhoods of Rafah, and today was Ryla’s turn.
Ryla was devastated by the death of her beloved. She has heard women narrate their tragic stories of losing loved ones several times, but never expected to receive her partner covered in white robes when she kissed him goodbye a few hours earlier. Before the pangs of grief gnawed at her completely, she called out to her daughters who were five and seven ages old.
“Ayhan.. Ayrin.. where are you?”
No reply came from either of them. She stumbled inside the small house to find them but in vain. After a while a little girl dressed in a sunshine yellow frock came running with sweaty hands and a pale face. Ryla suspected that something was wrong and that thought alone added nothing but more fatigue to her weary self. She asked hastily to her younger daughter Ayrin, “What happened dear? Where’s your sister?”
The girl stammered in between heavy pants, “She… she.. went to find baba. I.. I tried to stop her but.. she wouldn’t listen to me. I told her that baba went to jenna but she said she will find him.”
Ryla’s throat went dry. She knew that some people told children that the deceased went to a faraway land and those who remain obedient and virtuous can reach them some day whereas, certain others told that dead souls rest in heaven. Tears streamed down her cheeks because she could neither do anything about it since she wasn’t allowed to step out of the house for a while as a widow according to their beliefs, nor could she sit back and endure the pain of losing one more person. When helplessness started to exacerbate her situation, the little girl looked at her mother, held her shaking hands and said in a loud whisper,
“Please don’t cry mama, I will find her. Don’t worry I will go get her now itself and all three of us can go find baba together.” Having said this Ayrin stormed out of the house before waiting for her mama’s reply.
Ryla felt heat rising up her body and her legs wobbled as if suddenly she weighed twice as before by the time she processed her daughter’s words. She hollered loud facing the street that seemed to be stretched out into a mirage,
“Ayrin darling.. come back to mama… please don’t leave me.” Her own words echoed back at her but no one answered. She began pacing up and down restlessly and praying to the Almighty. The trauma of losing your favourite people one after another is utterly unbearable. And Ryla’s hope diminished each second along with the ticking clock’s hand. She fought against the overwhelming agony with all her might.
Ryla opened her eyes to see the sun heading towards the horizon. She didn’t remember dozing off but soon she recalled all the unfortunate events and they struck her like a tight slap on the face. She ran to the yard and stared at the apparently deserted streets of Rafah. She raised her hands high and prayed with drenched eyes. Daylight began fading and birds soared back to their nests but no sign of the girls who left. She mustered all her strength and patience to stay awake or rather alive. It could be that she’d never see them again but sticking onto hope and prayers were the only refuge. When she was on the verge of breaking down and losing hold of herself a tiny movement on the street caught her heed. Two bright spots were approaching, a yellow and a blue. It grew bigger and turned out to be a torso with hands and legs. Wait, not one but two. She sprinted towards them as fast as her tired legs could take her, crossed the distance and pulled them into a long embrace. Words refused to come out of her but she prolonged the moment until she was afraid that she might suffocate them. Her two daughters, the only stimuli that keeps pushing her live further in this cruel world, has returned by the grace of God.
Ryla noticed her kids’ faces. They were covered in dust and black patches were seen on their frocks as if they’ve spent hours in a coal mine or in front of a burning hearth. When she could manage to form words in her fuzzy brain, she asked in between tears and hiccups,
“Where..have you.. been Ay..han?” The words came out in a gust of angst. The poor girl wept bitterly into her palms which melted her heart or rather shattered it into umpteen pieces. She softened her tone, caressed the girl’s cheek and asked again,
“Ayhan baby? Where were you all this while? Please talk to mama.”
Ayhan removed her palms that shielded her eyes and slowly began to speak.
“I’m sorry mama. I went to find baba. He promised to bring me my favourite doll tonight. I wanted to scold him for not keeping his word.”
Ryla couldn’t help the uncontrolled flow of tears. She didn’t know how to console her innocent child. The girl continued in her hoarse tone. “I walked along the endless sidewalk of the street. But before long I heard raucous mobs every now and then. I wanted to come back to you but lost my way. I ran without turning back. But the sounds of firing and frequent screams terrified me. Then I saw remnants of an isolated building or more like a cabin in the ruins and hid in there.”Ryla couldn’t believe her ears. She asked Incredulously “In a cabin? You could have asked some help and come back. Anyway, how did you get out?” She prompted. Her daughter continued with the same pale expression, “The place I chose to hide scared me even more. There were bones and vultures and horrible noises.” I ran again…”
Ryla couldn’t comprehend the words altogether albeit some of them got squeezed into her mind and they ricocheted in the folds of her brain. She thought aloud in a faint voice, “ruins.. cabin.. firing.. bones.. vultures….” Her head began spinning. It felt as if she were plummeting into a deep abyss. Half awake, she heard her daughters shout “mama..” and felt them tugging at her sleeves. But sooner her mind drifted away like water swirling down the drain.